Last night's "Drag Race" episode brought the drama -- and I'm not even talking about the annual acting challenge. With the season a quarter of the way finished, these dolls have established beefs and a pecking order, and both were on display this week.

The mini-challenge forced the girls to split into pairs, get handcuffed, and paint their partners' faces for an over-the-top mugshot photo. There were some hilarious results from this - only one team completely misunderstood the assignment, and that was Jiggly and Dida, who played it way too straight. But the win deservedly went to Willam and Madame LaQueer, who smeared themselves in blue paint to represent exploded dye packs, since they got busted for robbing a bank. Although really, the win went to Willam. It was all his idea, and LaQueer was just along for the ride. As usual.

The two of them were then made team captains for the main challenge, in which the girls had to act in a fake sitcom set in Tuckahoe Prison. Unfortunately, the concept was funnier than most of the lines (that we saw; it appeared in "Untucked" that there was a whole other scene at a dining-room table that was cut completely from the main show). Interestingly, the girls were not allowed to pick their teams. They were selected at random from a hat. They shook out thusly:

Team Willam: Chad Michaels, Latrice Royale, Phi Phi O'Hara, and Jiggly Caliente

Team Madame: Sharon Needles, Kenya Michaels, Dida Rita, and Milan

The winners and losers were obvious almost immediately. There was little drama on Team Willam, while Team Madame was awash in a sea of bad decisions and poorer execution. Madame made terrible casting choices - the most criticized was assigning teeny, fishy Kenya the role of the butch prison guard - didn't seem to be doing much directing, and refused to take any input about her own character. Specifically, she decided to add a British accent on top of her already super-thick Puerto Rican one. The result was totally unintelligible.

The sitcoms themselves were fairly bland. The only stand-outs were Latrice on Team Willam, who channeled her own prison history into some legit comedy; and Dida on Team Madame, who was surprisingly strong compared to her previous outings. On the poor side, Jiggly continued to demonstrate her inability to do just about anything, Milan continued to get even more forgettable (and since she is an actress, and this was an acting challenge, that was especially bad), Kenya had no idea what she was saying OR doing, and Madame was simply a mess.

Of course Team Willam won, and Latrice got the individual nod. FINALLY we have a big girl in this competition who can BRING IT. Latrice is smart, confident, talented, and looks great (she was so glamorous on the runway last night). It is refreshing, given the dreadful history this show has had with plus-sized contestants (Mystique, Stacy Layne, Delta Work, even poor Porkchop). Latrice also seems very sweet - loved the "Jesus is a Biscuit" sing-along this episode - but capable of throwing some serious shade when needed.

Speaking of shade, we got plenty of it prior to the runway from Sharon Needles and Phi Phi O'Hara. Now, I love Sharon. And I like Phi Phi - I think he's a super cute boy and he makes for a solid reality-show villain (although I think most of that is in editing). But I thought they were both in the wrong on this one. Sharon approached Phi Phi in the work room to confess about throwing her under the bus during last week's judging. I find the timing of this discussion suspect, but that's not the point. Sharon wanted to clear the air (or to preempt allegations of backstabbing), and Phi Phi did not handle it well. She got extremely angry, told Sharon that she basically handed her the win last week, and capped it off with the insult of the season: "Go back to Party City, where you belong!" I've seen it a million times, but I still love it.

Underneath the righteous indignation Phi Phi had a point. She argued that the only reason Sharon said anything negative to the judges about Phi Phi was because Sharon thought she was in danger of elimination; it was an attempt to deflect. But Sharon actually was on the stage to get the win - she shouldn't have said anything at all. And by saying something, she planted a seed of doubt about Phi Phi in the judges' heads. Totally valid critique, and we saw more of Sharon's insecurities getting the best of her in this episode, when she got mouthy and made excuses to the director during the sitcom, and to the judges on the runway. That's something she needs to work on, because Sharon is incredibly talented and creative. But that means nothing if you don't have the backbone to take constructive criticism and use it to make you better at what you do.

In Sharon's defense, Phi Phi was full of shit when she said that she did not attack Sharon first. I guess that's true, if you don't count, "Go back and do your one look" as an insult - which it absolutely was. The larger issue I have with Phi Phi, however, is that girl keeps writing checks with her mouth, and thus far her bank account has been found wanting. Again: I like Phi Phi. There's something about her I find magnetic. She makes an impression. But she talk talk talks about how AMAZING she is, when the truth is that thus far she has performed firmly in the middle of the pack. I don't believe she has ever finished in the top of the pack individually. Sharon is dead on when she says that Phi Phi's drag has all been done before - there's nothing new there, and others on this show have done it better. When Phi Phi came out on the runway last night I swear I thought she was Alexis Matteo. That is not a compliment.

On a totally unrelated note, this episode we got to see a lot more of Willam, and I am loving him. He is SO quick and witty. Who would have thought of the blue paint? Just very smart. I also very much appreciate the way he conducts himself in the Interior Illusions Lounge. When there are confrontations with the other queens he continually tries to keep it civil by telling them to talk with, instead of scream at, each other. Might not make for the best TV, but I appreciate that level of maturity. And he's just a one-liner machine. I bet he'd make a great screenwriter. As for his constant touting of his Hollywood career, I don't have a problem with it. If you were getting that kind of work, wouldn't you be crowing about it all the time too?

In the end it all came down to the boring, forgettable Milan versus the taste-challenged Madame LaQueer. They had to lipsynch to "Trouble" by Pink (what does that have to do with anything?), and it was pretty lame. Madame did almost nothing but point - I think it was Jiggly who called her a Pointer Sister, which is probably the best thing Jiggly's done this entire competition - while Milan threw everything she had on to the stage. She messily applied lip liner (?), she removed her gown, she ripped off her wig, she did drop splits and then pulled herself across the stage on her hands, etc. I give her credit for really giving her all, but the whole thing felt SO desperate to me. Like a kid mugging for his parents' friends so they can say how cool he is. Not a fan of Milan.

Madame was dismissed, and remained incapable of taking a note right up to the end. I don't know if it's the language-barrier issue or what, but no matter what anybody said to Madame, she was never in the wrong. She totally miscast several roles in your challenge? Madame stands by her decisions. We can't understand a word you're saying with that terrible British accent? Madame still made the right choice. One of the judges tells you she hates green, and you come out dressed in nothing but green this week? Madame will wear what she wants. I guess that kind of self-assurance is enviable in a way, but only if the decisions you make are good ones. And most of Madame's weren't. Still, I can't believe Jiggly outlasted her. At least Madame looked polished...

Also, need to end this on a really bitchy note: guest judge Max Mutchnick, co-creator of "Will & Grace," really pissed me off. The whole time he had this condescending air about him, like he was better than this show. While he generally gave good notes during the challenge itself, I got the impression that he was being bitchy just because he enjoys being a bitch. And his nasty dig at Sharon during judging deliberations - dismissing her as "the girl from ‘The Ring,'" even though her look and personality this week had NOTHING to do with that - was totally off the mark. I kept thinking to myself, "Yes, this guy has won Emmys and Golden Globes and made gobs of money with his TV show. But that's been off the air for six years now. What have you done for us lately? Oh, you have a new show coming out? It's about a gay guy and his straight girl friend? Now WHERE have I heard that one before?" Hack.

NEXT: Snatch Game 2012!